Monday, November 19, 2007

Desolation Row

I could go on forever about how degraded I feel, and how my life is apparently down the gutter but I really can't be arsed to feel sorry for myself anymore. I'm currently homeless now and looking for some (any) kind of student accommodation to rent. The job hunting has begun and I'm already sick of the sight of the tedious application forms. Why is it that you have to give information so personal and intricate regarding the details of your life, hobbies and previous working experience? Okay so i agree experience in SOME jobs is essential and your qualifications educational-wise are to a degree relevant but do they really need to know that I enjoy hanging off cliffs, and photography (not at the same time, although that is a strangely appealing idea)

I can now see how easy it really is to become homeless forever, I can completely sympathise with many of the genuine homless people, not because I consider myself pulled into that dark hole just yet, but the situation I'm in at the moment has allowewd me to take a glimpse at how easily I, you or anyone, could fall into such a treacherous and vicious circle.

Anyway, as usual I got to see my little boy today and yesterday and he's amazing he never stops smiling, without him I would truly be lost. Although I have been told by his mother that she is taking him away from me to scarborough, which means that, I've travelled 300miles to be with my son, leave all my friends behind, get myself into this shitty situation only for her to decide to drag him another 200miles away, and although she says its for the sake of the children, I can't help but think it's a tiny bit of spitefulness also, and not only that I think its more for her sake than the children. Don't get me wrong, I think she's a great mother and has until now been a decent friend, but the thought of her taking my son from me is completely heart-breaking.

I'm just gonna take each day as it comes but to be honest with you I've decided to jump in with both feet and sort all this shit out once and for all, I'm not a callous person but its time for action, by whatever means possible.

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